


We Could Be Heroes

by juvjuvychan



Category: Marvel 616, Young Avengers
Genre: F/M, Implied Relationships, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-27
Updated: 2014-01-27
Packaged: 2018-01-10 05:37:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1155748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juvjuvychan/pseuds/juvjuvychan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of Children's Crusade and the Young Avengers separation, Eli finds his hands full of a certain Speedster who turns his life upside down.  All while trying to figure out just what being a real hero means.  Love sucks whether you're a teenager superhero or just trying to be one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Could Be Heroes

**Author's Note:**

> I played fast and loose with the timeline cause lol comics man. Forgive all the mistakes 
> 
> For the lovely Kim hope you like it darling!

When Tommy shows up on Eli's steps almost two months after—finding Wanda, giving Doom near ultimate power, the Avengers and X-men fighting, losing Cassie—their last mission Eli isn't quite sure what to make of it. 

Tommy carries little yet his shoulders slump with weight. He stands there unassuming and casual while still looking like Eli will turn him away. Truth is, Eli can't say he's entirely wrong for feeling that way. Eli is tempted. It's not like they were the best of friends on the team. 

“Uh, hi.” Eli says awkwardly. 

“Yea,” Tommy responds shifting his weight from foot to foot as if he's ready to bolt at a moments notice. “So look,” Tommy says leaning against the door frame in Eli's personal space. “Billy's gone flat man he won't do a damn thing and he was driving me crazy! Like crazy! He's so busy being so into himself and his own angst that he lost sight dude, just complete sight of what he is and like what was the point of everything if we just give up now I mean really we didn't go through all that crap to literally crap out right? Right so I couldn't take it anymore and bounced out can I crash at your place for a couple days?” Tommy says in a mad rush that only Tommy can manage. 

It must be a testament of their former time spent on the team together because somehow Eli deciphers everything Tommy just said. Dazed he moves just enough for Tommy to push past. 

“Thanks man. Really thanks I appreciate this I know we've never been buddy buddy before but you know I appreciate this right?” 

Eli nods, “I know Tommy, you wouldn't have come here if you weren't desperate.” 

“Hey now don't make yourself sound like my last resort.” Tommy says plopping himself down comfortably on Eli's couch. 

“Lets not pretend I wasn't.” Eli smirks when Tommy's cheeks color a light pink. He scratches behind his left ear. He looks out of his element Eli observes watching as Tommy shifts between being utterly out of place in his home and utterly comfortable crashing on Eli's ugly purple couch his grandmother refuses to get rid of. 

“My grandmother should be home within the hour, don't worry she remembers you well enough.” A slightly unsure look crosses Tommy's face, so Eli reassures him, “she knows we were on the same superhero team and remembers what you look like. That's enough for her. She'll let you crash for a few days. Don't freak out it doesn't suit you.” 

Tommy sighs his shoulders sagging with the breath he releases. “thanks dude that takes a load off.”

And that's how Tommy ends up living with him for the foreseeable future. 

 

Eli sees the news, it's hard not to when it's one every channel imaginable. He grits his teeth and wonders why adults are so stupid. Maybe the Runaways were right in the end. 

His grandmother pats his shoulder gently; calming the tension in his back as he watches and watches heroes of the world fight and bicker like children. 

Eli doesn't know much about the X-Men. Doesn't know much about the history of the team, or the ins and outs of the relationships in the group. He knows mutants face similar discrimination for their powers as he does for his skin. He knows there was once a mutant named Darwin who could adapt to anything but never changed his skin color because that was as much apart of him as his powers. He knows Wolverine tried to kill Billy and Wanda. He knows Magento is Billy and Tommy's spirit or soul granddad or whatever. He also knows the guy was a freaking terrorist at one time too. 

He doesn't know much about the X-Men, but he knows a group of them confronted the Avengers and wanted to kill Billy and Wanda. But then, the Avengers wanted the same. So in the end what does Eli know about heroes? 

“We can't just sit here can we?” Tommy asks his body is vibrating with energy next to Eli. Eli thinks it's ironic, the kid they broke out of jail is the one who wants to play hero most of all. 

“It's not our war.” Eli says eyes never leaving the screen. His grandmother gets up. Probably to check on his grandfather to make sure he's not watching this. Watching to see how far heroes have fallen. How all the good he did, has done, that was purposely forgotten seems wasted in the light of this. 

Eli wishes he could be more like his grandfather. Wishes for that everyday and then some. Wishes his grandfather got the respect and honor he deserves. Sometimes it comforts Eli that Captain America agrees with him. That he recognizes the injustice his grandfather suffered. Sometimes it doesn't. 

His grandfather fought in a war when nobody wanted him for anything more than an experiment and a body. But he still fought for what was just and right. Eli thought he was doing the same when he joined the resistance during the Civil War. 

Then Teddy, Billy, Karolina, and Xavin were all captured—tortured. Experimented on like lab rats without any regard to their own humanity. Billy and Teddy had never talked about it with the rest of the team, but Eli imagines it affected them more than they could ever say. He looks at Isaiah and thinks he can see a bit of them in his eyes. 

In the end was any of that war worth it? Cap had died. He had been shot on the steps after almost killing Iron Man. After he'd given up because the cost of winning was to high. Eli likes to think if it had been him, he would have done the same, but he knows himself better than that. 

Eli watches the Avengers and X-Men fight brutally against each other day after day for the next few weeks before things go quiet. 

He watches with Tommy by his side even though Eli knows Tommy wants nothing more than to thrust himself into the thick of things. 

When Cyclops and the rest of his team turn Phoenix that's when Tommy gets real pushy. 

“They're tearing up the world Eli.” Tommy says eyes on the TV but mind in the battle. “They can't be controlled you've heard the stories.”

“You mean about that Jean Grey woman right?” Eli asks picking at the sandwich he made for himself that lays on his plate as a pile of pigeon food. Tommys' own sandwich sits on the table in front of him untouched—Eli's picked up what Tommy likes and dislikes and it takes little effort to make it for him—he hasn't been eating for the last few days and Eli is beginning to worry. 

“You've heard about how she turned Parakeet—”

“Phoenix.” Eli corrects. 

“Whatever, point is she became like super crazy powerful remember? Like destroyed planets or something right? They're saying all that power is now in the hands of some crazy mutants!” 

Eli sighs. “Who exactly are they Tommy? The media? The politicians? The Avengers?”

“What is the matter with you dude? There's a fight for the world right in front of us and it's like you don't even care!” Tommy says eyes glowing with righteous rage. “Did you forget that we're suppose to be heroes?” 

“Did you forget we fought in a war too Tommy? Did you forget how that ended up? How they tortured Billy and Teddy? Did you forget how Norman Osborn almost took over the world, tried to destroy New Asgard? I heard he experimented on kids, turned them into freaks who don't have a chance at being normal anymore. Some who are so damaged they might die. They won't even get to live long enough to graduate High School or go to college and you want me to in the middle of some pissing contests between two super teams? Or did you forget how Cap died, how Wanda's people hate her, how Cassie and Jonas died?” Eli spits breathing heavy. 

He doesn't even realize he's standing until he's looking down at the shocked face of Tommy. His fists are clenched tightly at his sides and suddenly Eli feels every bit of how much of a hero he's not. 

“It's not our war Tommy. Not this time.” 

“That's part of being a hero Eli. You get back up even if you feel like you can't.”

“But is it even worth it?”

Neither say anything after that. 

 

Eli isn't sure how he ended up in the park at night walking along a dimly lit path with one Tommy Shepherd babbling rapidly at his side. They didn't talk about joining with the Avengers against the Phoenix powered X-Men again after their fight. In fact Tommy never mentioned going out and playing hero again after that. 

Eli's really not bothered by it. He still feels he was very much in the right and Tommy saw that. His stay has ended up extended, from a few days to a few weeks, into what is slowly stretching into a whole month. Tommy watched the news for the entire month and in the end they weren't even needed. 

He's not sure about the specifics but the mutant population is back up with more mutants than ever. Apparently Wanda with the help of some girl named Hope—who was even younger than them Eli can't believe it—spun some magic and poof no more Phoenix. Eli isn't sure how and he really doesn't care. He's glad things worked out in the end, that maybe at the end of this battle it was worth it. 

Eli also heard that Profession Xavier was killed during the final battle by Scott Summers. So maybe in the end it wasn't Eli's not really sure. He knows that he doesn't want to think to much on it though. 

He much rather focus on the here where Tommy is at his side babbling something about reality television. When they're not bickering Tommy's presence is surprisingly welcoming. He's helpful around the house, he listens to the house rules, he's polite with Eli's grandparents, he makes a mess but he's not a bad house guest. His grandmother even jokes about adopting him as a second son. Eli doesn't even find himself bothered by the notion anymore. 

Somehow, Tommy is slowly becoming a part of their home. As well as a good friend to Eli. 

He listens when they talk no matter what the subject is. Whether it's something stupid like Eli complaining about his classmates or Eli's theory on how all cheese products are fake plastic especially string cheese he's sure of it. Sometimes they talk about the team, laugh about old times. Battles won and loss. The superheroes they met, which ones they liked best. It's nice to have someone who was right there with him to talk about this stuff with. Sometimes Tommy makes the light suggestion about going out again, but Eli always pushes that down hard. 

“We have to pick up milk and coconuts for the misses.” 

“What?”

“Knew you weren't listening. You never listen. I might as well be talking to a wall.” He says but he's smiling in such a way that Eli knows he's joking. 

“Shut up.” Eli says bumping his shoulder into Tommys'. 

“Ow! Abuse! This is no way to treat your beau. Communication is key.”

“Have you been watching Oprah with my grandmother again?”

“Yes, also Ellen but Oprah is more informative. I find her stories to be both enlightening and entertaining.”

Eli laughs, “who are you and what have you done with Tommy Shepherd?”

“Whatever man, don't hate me cause I'm beautiful.” 

“Listening to Keri Hilson too I see.”

Tommy starts dancing in the middle of the path singing “pretty girl rock, rock, rock to the pretty girl rock” over and over. Some other park goers are looking at them with confusion or amusement. He feels the embarrassment crawl it's sweaty hand up his neck. He's just about to tell Tommy to stop when the other boy pulls him by the arm. 

“Dance with me!”

“Wha? No!” Eli says shaking him off. 

Tommy just shrugs never missing a beat with his feet. A little girl stares up with him with big brown eyes. Tommy stops and gives her mother a disarming smile. The woman says something to her daughter in Spanish that makes the girls face light up. Tommy takes her small hand in his and twirls her around. She laughs in an innocent way only children can laugh Eli thinks. Sometimes Eli also hears that innocence in Tommy's laugh. He likes to hope that Tommy never loses that either. That carefree nature he has about him. 

It used to bother him, had seemed out of place on a team of would-be superheroes. Now Eli finds himself grateful for it. Knowing that people like Tommy still existed in this world. 

“What's your favorite song?” Tommy asks the little girl. 

She ponders this for a moment before blurting out, “Telephone!” 

Eli can't help it, he laughs. If there's one thing Eli knows for certain about Tommy it's that he hates Lady Gaga's music with a passion only rivaled by his love of Chinese food. 

Tommy looks pained for half a second before picking up the little girl and setting her on his shoulders. “Telephone it is princess!” Together they warble out a bad rendition of Telephone. Some local park musicians watch the festivities with mirth. They even lend the two would-be Idol stars some backing music. Eventually a crowd forms and more children join in to the impromptu concert. Pulling their parents along with them to sing and dance. 

Eli watches the scene and feels like it's something out of a movie. Unreal and to good to be true. He tells Tommy that much when he rushes up to Eli face flushed and hair wild. 

“Well so what? Movies make people feel good that's the whole point!” 

The logic is so Tommy and perfect Eli can't find it in himself to argue. 

He still doesn't allow Tommy to pull him in for a dance though. Eli has boundaries. 

 

Eli's playing neighborhood basketball when he spots him across the street. He mumbles a quick apology to the kids he's playing with and rushes to the other side before the man can get away. He follows the man for a few blocks keeping his distance without losing sight. Only Eli blinks and suddenly the man is gone. 

How quickly Eli is dragged into an alley, pushed against a wall, and held by his throat is a sure sign that his skills are really rusty. Here he thought he was being subtle. 

“Oh, it's you kid.” Luke Cage says releasing is iron grip on Eli's throat like it's nothing. For him, Eli suspects, it is. “What can I do for you?” Eli's only met Luke Cage a couple times outside of battle, more because of the interest his wife, Jessica Jones, took in their team than anything. 

“I...” Luke waits patiently as Eli tries to find the words and reason to why he just ran across the street and followed one of the worlds greatest superheroes. “Uh.” At this point Eli isn't sure why his team elected him leader.  
Luke reaches out a meaty hand and pats Eli's head like he's a two year old. Somehow the touch doesn't feel condescending more like Luke's trying to comfort him in his own way. 

“I heard what happened to your team kid. I'm sorry.” Luke says sincerely. 

Eli nods tongue heavy like lead in his mouth. 

“I also know about your granddaddy and that shit ain't right. Don't let anyone tell you different. I'm not good with words like Cap, and I don't know all the ins and outs, but I know racist bullshit when I see it.” His hand moves from Eli's head to his shoulder and squeezes. “Don't give up just yet, promise you it's worth it some days.”

A small watery smile creeps along Eli's face. He nods warmth bleeding out through his chest. 

Luke takes his hand off to cross his arms making them look even bigger. Eli swallows as he looks. A prickling of heat creeps up his neck as he remembers Jessica Jones in her Jewel costume. Eli almost outright squeaks when he thinks of them together and where did that thought come from?

“By the way kid,” Luke asks, “how'd you'd know it was me anyway?” 

“Well, there's not many black heroes around, so don't you think I'd be able to recognize one of the few walking across the street.”

Luke just laughs and laughs. 

 

When Eli comes home that night he tells Tommy two things. One, about his amazing meeting with Luke Cage, and how they should start training again. 

“You mean like being in costume and going out and playing superhero again?” Tommy asks sarcastically but Eli can hear the quiver of hope in his voice. 

Eli smiles wanly, “I'm not sure about all that Tommy. I haven't—I mean how I feel about that hasn't totally changed.” Tommy's smile drops resigned. “Yet.” Eli adds to not feel like the worst person in the world. “Meeting up with Luke though. It just made me realize I still need to keep working at it though. Just in case I ever am ready again. Does that make sense?” Eli finishes hoping he hasn't completely screwed things up. He is being honest with Tommy. Eli doesn't want to get back in the game, he's not ready for that. There's still a lot of bitterness there to work through. Luke had inspired him though to at least get his skills back up to snuff. Gave him some much needed courage to even think about maybe one day putting a mask back on. 

“Dude of course! You can't just hop back in the saddle in the middle of July after spending all winter playing hokey pokey.”

Eli groans. “You've been watching Dr. Phil haven't you?” 

“That man is a comedic treasure. You should respect him.” Tommy says seriously before they both dissolve into laughter. They laugh so hard they have to lean against each other for support. It's strangely comfortable and easy. 

“I don't know why I put up with you.” Eli says swinging his legs around the couch to lay on Tommy's thighs.

“Cause I light up your life like nobody else.”

“Boy bands now too? Are you on a mission to consume all the annoying pop culture you can?” 

Tommy shrugs, resting his hands on Eli's ankles. “Nothing else I can do.”

The confession shoots a sharp bolt of concern up Eli's spine. He shifts a bit making to pull away but Tommy's grip on his ankles holds him still. 

“Are you,” Eli swallows throat feeling like he ate lint, “are you not happy here Tommy?” 

Tommy playful look vanishes replaced by two eyes full of appalled shock. 

“Of course I'm happy here!” 

“But you're bored.” Eli challenges. He feels hot and twitchy under his skin and he doesn't understand why. 

“Well...yea.” Tommy says looking a little ashamed at the admission. He leans across the length of the couch. So close Eli can almost feel Tommy's breath across his cheeks. “But that doesn't mean I'm not happy.” For that moment it's like everything in the world has stopped leaving just him and Tommy. Together on Eli's big ugly purple couch leaning in so close Eli could count the freckles on Tommy's nose, brush against the soft looking eyelashes that flutter as Tommy blinks, eyes shining so brightly and...

Eli jumps back breaking the moment. Tension floods out of the room leaving Eli to feel hot and uncomfortable. He takes a peek at Tommy but finds he couldn't read the emotion that flickers across his face right before Tommy leans back into his original spot on the couch. His hands leave Eli's ankles which for some reason makes Eli feel cold all of a sudden. 

It's to much for one night Eli thinks getting up from the couch. 

“W-well you won't have much time to be bored from now on.” Eli says in his best leader voice. “We're gonna start training again tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Tommy says more of a statement than a question. There's still some conflicting emotions playing across his face. His carefree smile notably absent Eli wants to rectify that. 

“Bright and early,” he says meaning for it to sound teasing. Tommy doesn't budge so Eli continues hopeful, “I don't care how much you whine, complain, or bargain you're gettin' up.” Eli points trying to give off the air of intimidation his grandmother has whenever she does that to him. 

He probably doesn't quite pull it off, but in light of Tommy's snorting laughter Eli can't find it in himself to care. 

 

Tommy groans, breath coming out fast and heavy. His bare chest heaves up and down as he peers up at the two hands that have him pinned by the wrists to the mat below. From his cheeks down to his upper chest is flushed a thick red from exertion. Tommy flicks his head to shake some of his matted white hair from his face as he pants low and deep. 

“Eli,” he moans licking his lips.

“Can you not?” Eli releases his hold on Tommy's wrists feeling shaky and embarrassed by Tommy's damn near wanton display. “We've only just begun training.” Eli grumbles getting up quickly. He throws his friend a towel wiping some sweat off his brow. The Avengers—read Luke—graciously let them use their gym which was more suited for super-powered training than any local gym. 

Eli felt awkward in accepting Luke's offer to allow them access but Luke insisted. He was even more accommodating than Eli ever expected. He wondered if that was more to honor Cassie or rather Scott than anything. Eli didn't push the issue either way. 

A sweaty, bare chest presses heavily against his equally bare back making Eli jolt. 

“W-what? Tommy!” Eli all but shrieks. 

“I'm so tired. Carry me.” Tommy whines while Eli sputters. His skin is itchy from their workout making him want a shower something awful. He's also—for some reasons Eli can't quite grasp—still thinking about the way Tommy looked pinned to the mat, flushed red and sweaty, and moaning. Eli groans. 

“S-suck it up.”

“Well someone's gonna start sucking something.” A voice cackles crudely making both boys jump. They turn around only to face Clint Barton—now once again Hawkeye which is weird for Eli but probably less so than the Avengers—wearing a shit eating grin if Eli's ever seen one. His companion, a well built woman with messy black hair, smacks him upside the head none to gently. 

“Clint that's disgusting they're kids cut'em some slack.”

Clint pouts, “you're no fun Jess.”

She smirks in such a way that makes Eli's face heat, “I think you know plenty well how much fun I can be.” 

Clint grins wickedly, “So that's okay to say, but I'm the one who needs to watch my mouth?” 

“They're not that young.” She says with a roll of her eyes as she makes her way over to a specially rigged mountain climbing set. Eli watches as she climbs with ease and grace. Something he's only ever seen from Spider-man or Spider-woman. 

Eli feels kind of dumb. He bet Billy or Teddy would have known who she was on sight. 

“So where's you're cute friend, Hawkeye the second?” Clint asks walking towards them.

“She was just Hawkeye,” Eli corrects feeling protective. Things may have not worked out with Kate, but she earned that name and Eli will defend that. 

“Also, weird dude you're like sixty something years old and Kate's like our age. Creeper.” Tommy fake whispers in Eli's ear. Eli snorts. 

“Hey! I'm not that old! Jesus kids these days!” He turns to Jess to yell, “can you believe these punks?” 

“I think I'm gonna call you Clint Eastwood from now on.” Jess says without missing a beat then laughs at the offended look on Clint's face. Eli and Tommy can't help but laugh with her huddled into each others shoulders. Maybe they should be showing someone like the original Hawkeye more respect but Eli thinks the guy just sets himself up for it. 

“Oh—oh whatever Jess!” 

“Ooooh nice come back, feel the burn there.” 

Clint turns to the two of them and fake whispers, “women I mean it, don't even bother. I've been married I know.” 

“Go make me a sandwich!” Jess calls over the gym. Clint rolls his eyes while Tommy and Eli just laugh and laugh. 

It almost makes Eli forget how having Tommy's bare skin touching his makes his blood pulse. And that he's here in the Avengers gym laughing as if they're all normal people having a nice time. Eli laughs in the moment and forgets. 

 

Eli isn't dumb. He also likes to believe himself to be pretty open minded. Dispute Teddy and Billy's efforts he knew they were an item probably before they even thought of becoming an item. He also knows that he can still hold some pretty old fashion views as Kate so nicely put it for him once. 

So when he considers the fact that he's probably very much attracted to Tommy he finds himself a little conflicted. Part of him still thinks it's a bit weird because he's never been attracted to guys before. The other part of him knows sexuality is fluid and that he's a big lying liar because he knows he finds the Cage-Jones couple attractive. And the rumors around the Tower that Iron Fist might be involved in a Jones/Cage/Rand sandwich makes the blood in his head rush down. Eli is a pervert. A dizzy perverted pervert. 

So Eli finds that he might be bisexual. But what if he's gay? Is that why things didn't work out with Kate? Eli knows though that he was very much attracted to Kate. Eli just finds himself very confused. 

He also finds himself a little worried. Being black is hard enough no matter what white kids at school tell him. Being black and gay? He's not even sure if his grandmother would approve. That thought terrifies him alone. Without his grandparents Eli has no one. They're the best people in the world and all he has left. He can't lose them. Not for anything or anyone. 

Even Tommy. 

Eli thoughts are running in circles at this point. Now he has a headache pounding in his temples. He heads to the Tower hoping punching some bags might clear his head some. 

“Where are you going?” Tommy asks appearing out of the blue as he's wont to do. Over the last couple months of so Eli's gotten used to it. At first he drove him crazy, now it's just a natural part of their dynamic around the house. Eli realizes he's just gotten used to Tommy. More than that he's glad to have him around. This might be more serious than a passing attraction which confuses Eli even more. Tommy is Eli's friend. Finding your friends attractive is one thing, wanting to maybe date them was another. Does Eli even want to date Tommy? Does he even like Tommy that way? 

The ache pulses in his head and Eli really needs to leave. 

“Just going to the gym.” He says shrugging the sling of his gym bag higher on his shoulder for emphasis. 

“Oh! I'll go with you.” Tommy brightens rushing to get his things before Eli can ever utter a reply. 

“Uh, sure okay.”

When they get there Eli hopes they can train separately so Eli has some time to clear his head. Luckily Carol and Jess are there training together at the weights when they arrive. Jess, for some reason beyond Eli's understanding, has taken a liking to Tommy. Eli secretly thinks it's because he can build a double decker sandwich in two seconds flat. 

Eli's never seen someone's eyes light up like that over a sandwiches, but Carol just assures Eli it's one of Jess' special quirks. She says it with such a soft, warm smile that Eli can tell it's not just a teasing comment from Carol either. Rather something she believes is genuinely special and wonderful about Jess.

With Tommy significantly distracted with Jess and Carol, Eli makes his way over to the punching bags. He gets out his tape and with a quick wrap he's ready to go. He pounds and pounds at the bag focusing solely on the feel of his knuckles striking their target over and over. 

It feels good to not think about anything. To simply go at something without holding anything back. His muscles strain in a pleasant painful hum. He blinks the sweat out of his eye without filching. He pounds out a rhythm that cancels out all other thoughts. Eli just goes and goes like a machine. 

When the bag pops like a broken water ballon Eli is hardly surprised. He watches as it spits dust and grain everywhere. Eli peers down at it sheepishly feeling a bit guilty. He knows Tony Stark is rich again, or rich enough to fund the Avengers again at least, but he still broke their property. 

“Don't worry 'bout it kid.” An unmistakably gruff voice says from behind him. 

“Uh, Wolverine, sir,” Eli says tensing up. He's far from forgotten that a not to long ago this was the man that wanted to kill his friend and his friends mom. Soul mom. Whatever. 

Wolverine snorts mouth forming into an unkind snarl. “I look like a “sir” to you kid?” Eli says nothing. “Whatever. Fact is no one beats on somethin' like you beat on that bag unless they got somethin' shakin' around in their head.” Wolverine sets up another bag, kicking the now broken bag out of the way with ease. He positions himself behind it motioning for Eli to continue. “So question is, what's got your head all up in knots enough to beat the shit out of this bag like it personally offended you or somethin'.” 

Eli, still wary, gets in position. “Nothing si—Wolverine.” He says as he continues his routine. 

“Call me Logan.”

Eli's a little taken back but chews out the name anyway. “Logan,” Logan stands there behind the bag taking every punch Eli dishes out without even the smallest flinch. He's built, Eli can't help but notice. Like Luke, but where as Luke is tall arranging his muscles throughout his body, Logan is stocky. Luke is thick, Logan is like a hairy slab of grumpy scowly muscle and attitude. 

He says nothing as Eli goes about destroying another bag. Maybe that's the whole point because before Eli can help himself he's blurting out, “just...personal stuff I guess.” 

“Hm.” Logan says helpfully. 

“I guess,” Eli continues between jabs and punches. “I guess it's because I'm dealing with stuff I've never dealt with before. And it's all so weird to me. I thought I knew this part of myself, but I guess I didn't. And I'm not sure how—well to deal with it. I'm just really confused.” Eli finishes with a sigh. 

“You gay kid?” Logan asks without pause. Like he was asking if the sky is blue or if New York had cold winters. 

“Uh,” Eli responds intelligently. 

“You sound gay.”

Eli blinks slowly. “How does someone sound gay?” Eli shoots Logan a skeptical stare. To think this guy ran a school. With children. Furthermore what is Logan even getting at? 

“What? No I meant, fuck.” There's a pause where Logan rubs the scruff of his face roughly then says, “my son is bisexual.”

“You have a son?” Eli asks genuinely shocked. 

“Why does everyone always—look I ain't good at this shit but I'll get someone for you who is alright?”

Eli nods numbly still processing the new information that Wolverine has a son. Eli's also still trying to figure out what the point of this conversation is. 

“So stop busting up our equipment got it?” 

“Uh, okay.” With that Logan turns away concluding what might have been one of the weirdest conversations Eli's ever had. 

Tommy rushes over scrubbing hair out of his eyes as he asks Eli what that was all about. 'That' referring obviously to Logan. 

“You know,” Eli says still slightly befuddled, “I'm honestly not really sure.” 

 

Eli founds out what Logan meant the next time he shows up at the Tower. Which seems to be buzzing with more energy than usual. He was able to sneak away from Tommy without much trouble but now he wishes he had his friend—or whatever Tommy is to him anymore—with him so he doesn't feel so out of place. 

Eli usually doesn't go anywhere other than the gym. He's not an Avenger, he's not even a superhero anymore. So it doesn't feel right to intrude on their world, or in their spaces. He's grateful enough for daily access to their gym, he doesn't need anything else, really. However today he's dragged by Jarvis into their living area. Which is really just a big room with a big couch, a big tv screen, and big pictures of previous Avenger teams on the walls. 

It's all a little intimidating to say the least. More so than the last time he was here to bust Billy out. There's a small crowd surrounding one of the couches but he can't see who's at the center of it. 

“Master Bradley is here sir.” Jarvis announces in a both a loud and quiet British accent. Eli is sure that—and the ability to take care of a whole horde of superheroes—is a superpower of some kind. 

“Thanks Jarvis!” Stark calls from the outskirts of the circle. “Alright everybody guest of honor has arrived move along now, let them get down to business.” The crowd breaks up and Eli sees The Wasp give a tall regal woman with white hair a lasting hug before parting. Eli gapes. 

Holy shit it's Storm. 

Eli's no fanboy, not like Billy and Teddy are. He can't name all the history of the Avengers, or which team had which members or any of that junk. He doesn't know who dated or married who before or who's still married or dating who currently. This though, this is completely different. 

This is Storm, who is both one of Eli's idols and childhood crushes standing before him looking more noble and imposing than any picture or poster could do justice. 

“Uh.” Is all Eli manages. 

Storm smiles. It's the kind of smile that promises kindness and guidance. It's really no wonder she was a queen. Twice. Eli feels the urge to bow just catching a glimpse of it. 

“I see the lad is as besotted with your majestic beauty as I, milady.” Thor's booming voice says from behind him. Eli jumps as if he was just found catching secret peeks at porn magazines or something. 

“I see you're still as silver tongued as ever, Thor.” Eli briefly melts a little inside hearing Storm speak before wondering if everyone in the Tower subtly flirts with each other like this all the time. 

“My brother is the one with a tongue of silver milady.” Thor says stepping close to Storm. Thor must be a whole head taller than her. Which is saying something because she's a tall woman even without the boots. Yet it's Storm who appears taller than him simply by the way she's standing. The way she holds herself speaks of power and confidence. Eli thinks Thor can sense it too by the dazed shine in his eye. “I merely speak the truth, Ororo.” Thor near whispers in Storms ear, nose grazing a few stray pieces of her stark white hair. 

Eli shifts feeling like he's intruding on something intimate. It's really weird. They're Avengers for goodness sakes. 

“We'll talk later, Thor.” Storm stays stroking his cheek lightly with her fingertips. Eli doesn't know whether he feels jealous, uncomfortable, or more freaked out by the whole display. Mostly he itches for the solid comfort Tommy provides. His ability to ease tension out of situations and distract Eli would be welcomed right about now. “I must speak with the boy. It will not take long.” 

Thor, briefly, appears disappointed but the promise of a meeting soon soothes him. He leaves with a soft kiss to Storm's hand. 

Eli thinks if this isn't one of the reasons to avoid all other places in the Tower except the gym, it should be. 

“You are Eli Bradley yes?” Storm asks though it's clear she already knows the answer. Still Eli nods his head. “Logan spoke to me about you.”

“He did?” 

“Yes, at our school.”

“Wolverine goes to school?”

“No, he and I run one.” Storm explains patiently. 

“Wolverine runs a school?” Eli asks agast. “With children?” 

Storm laughs as if she's heard that said before yet it still amuses her. Given how the idea of the Wolverine involving himself with anything to do with live children seems more unbelievable than Doom and Loki giving up evil for good, she probably has. 

“Logan is not the type to be good with words. He's far to gruff for that, but he does truly care. Especially about the younger ones like you.” 

Eli bristles a bit at being considered a “young one” but given the years of experience both Storm and Wolverine have on him he figures can't be to ruffled. 

“So he was...concerned?” Eli says just a bit dumbfounded by the idea that Wolverine was concerned for him. 

Storm nods, “he believed I could help you.” 

“How?” 

“By introducing you to someone who knows what you're going through.” She pulls out a piece of paper with a time and place scribbled across. “Go to this place at the given time and he'll be there. He's something of a high profile figure so he doesn't like to meet out in the open much. But I do believe he'll be able to provide you with the help you need.” Eli takes the paper gingerly as if it'll crumble if he handles it to roughly. He doesn't know exactly why, but he feels like crying a little. Storm places a hand on his shoulder, and much like that time with Luke, Eli feels himself drawing strength from it. 

“Do not worry so much Eli, you're time will come when you are ready.” 

 

When Eli returns home from the Tower that night Tommy pounces on him. No literally, he comes out of nowhere and suddenly Eli has an armful of wiggly speedster on his hands. 

“T-Tommy!” Eli gasps. Mind rushing at the feeling of being so close to Tommy. 

“Sorry I just didn't know where you were I came back and you were gone and I was just dude I was scared you weren't here and I didn't know I didn't know!” Tommy rushes out so fast even Eli has trouble understand what he's saying. 

“Hey,” he says in the same voice he uses when one of the neighborhood kids gets hurt, “it's okay. I'm sorry I didn't mean to worry you.” 

“You didn't,” Tommy huffs clearly embarrassed. Eli can feel the smile Tommy presses against his neck so he assumes it's all fine now. Tommy pulls away far enough so they're face to face. “Don't disappear on me Eli.” 

Staring into Tommy's eyes Eli feels the weight of the moment heavy on his chest like slabs of stone. Crushing him, threatening to ground him into dust if he answers wrongly. 

“I won't.” He promises and then thinks later, that maybe he shouldn't have. 

 

“Tommy,” Eli says as he leans on the doorway watching as Tommy moves around the kitchen in a blurred flurry. Eli's grandmother is working a little later than usually tonight so she had asked if Tommy could start dinner for her. Eli isn't hopeless in the kitchen, but between him and Tommy there's no competition on who's the better chef. Tommy actually likes it. Which is a bonus for all of them. He once told Eli if he has to spend what is like a weeks time for him doing something, he'd like it to be something productive. Something other people can get something out of. Also something tasty. 

Eli figures that's just how Tommy thinks. Eli really likes part of him more importantly he respects it a great deal. There's a sensation of something gushing warmth in him the same way you get when you drink something hot to fast. He finds that he kind of likes it. 

“I'm going out for a bit, to a coffee shop, I texted you the address.” Eli explains knowing better now that simply leaving without a word isn't an option anymore. 

“Yea yea okay just be back in time for dinner. I'm not busting my ass so you can grab Wendy's on your way home.” 

“Yes dear.” 

“Bye darling.” Tommy says playfully. As Eli leaves he gets a rushing woosh in his stomach when he thinks about Tommy giving him those flirty playful looks. With those eyes, and that hair, gosh Eli sounds like some love struck teenager. Eli supposes he is some potentially love struck teenager. 

Eli arrives at the coffee shop—Lee and Kirby's the florescent sign shines—on the dot of the agreed meeting time. Eli sits at one of the back tables twiddling his fingers nervously. It's a pretty obscure shop, quiet, secluded, but brightly lit with a homey atmosphere to it. There's a young dark skinned woman behind the shop counter who smiles at him shyly. She's pretty Eli can't help but notice, she she flutters around the shop serving customers. 

The table floods with a shadow as someone above him apologies for being late bringing Eli's attention back to focus. 

“I swear I used to be a very punctual person before I got married.” The man says sitting down. He raises his hand to gesture to the woman at the counter then holds out his hand to Eli. 

“Hi,” he says. Eli takes the offered hand shaking it gingerly. “Oh, you were expecting a superhero right?” Eli glances away guiltily having been caught so outright. The man just waves him off kindly, “no, no don't worry about it. Completely understandable. Someone like Ororo tells you to meet someone at a super secret location and your imagination is going to run wild I get it. Just hope I don't disappoint to much.” 

Eli finds himself smiling despite himself. The man is kind in an unassuming way which puts Eli at ease. 

“I'm Eli Bradley.”

“I'm Kyle Jinadu-Beaubier.”

Just like that Eli feels very dumb because this is Northstar's husband and he didn't even recognize his face. 

“Hey no kid, it's okay. Unless you're in the sports world or keep up with superhero spouses, and wow isn't that hard to do right? There's no way you'd know me right away.” 

“Uh, sorry.” Eli apologizes awkwardly shifting in his seat. The woman from the counter sets down a steaming cup of what Eli assumes is coffee. 

“Thanks Ms. Aara.” 

Aara blushes prettily, “I swear Mr. Kyle, you and Kamala are maybe the most polite costumes I have.”

“Well you keep this Kamala lady than, she sounds lovely.”

“Oh she is, she really is.” She turns to Eli, “would your friend like anything?” Kyle looks at him. 

“Ah, no, thank you.” Aara nods with a smile scurrying off again to help her next costumer. 

“If you ever find yourself at this place again, I suggest you try the hot chocolate and the sugar cookies. Nothing gets the mood up better than a hot cup of chocolate and some freshly baked cookies.” 

Eli merely nods. 

“So I guess we should get down to business eh Eli?” Kyle says. Though strangely Eli doesn't feel pressured. He figures it must be Kyle's easing going persona working it's magic because Eli feels comfortable enough to tell him anything. “Storm told me what Logan told her, but I was never good at telephone. Why don't you tell me how you feel.” 

Eli tells Kyle everything. From how the Young Avengers formed and their adventures together. How they lost Cassie and Jonas. He tells Kyle how he never felt like such a failure before in his life. How he can't look at the same heroes and think 'heroes' anymore. How Tommy tore through his life like a whirlwind on fire and now he doesn't know what to do. Being black is hard enough, the legacy he has burning in his blood is an honor he's not sure he's worthy of anymore, dealing with his sexuality was never suppose to even be an issue. 

“Am I just a bigot and I didn't know it?” Eli asks beginning to feel a bit desperate after his story is finished. Kyle, for his part, has sat silently the entire time Eli was spilling his guts out messily on the table. He never flinched or once looked like he was judging Eli. For that Eli is incredibly grateful. 

“No, you're not a bigot Eli, you're just uneducated. You're right, it's tough enough being black in America. Being black and queer isn't going to gain you anymore friends I can assure you of that. But look at this,” Kyle shows Eli his wedding ring which glints a bit under the shop lights. “This is proof to me that it's worth it. I get to call the person I love the most my husband. I am surrounded by a loving group of people who treat us with the respect and dignity we deserve.” He takes his hand back twirling the ring around his finger. 

“It's not easy. And being married doesn't fix everything. We both still fight everyday basic bigotry. Me? I get it even worse because I'm black. Jean-Paul, as much as I love him, will never understand what it's like to be black and gay. He'll never understand how while we'll both be discriminated against for being gay, for being together, I'll also be discriminated against for being black.”

“How do you deal with it?” Eli asks.

“I deal with it because I'm proud of who I am and I have a good support system to back me. It's not easy, but you already know that. I've heard a little bit about your grandfather.”

Eli looks away. 

“You already know one kind of discrimination. So you already know some days are better than others. You're proud aren't you? Of being black.”

Eli nods vehemently.

Kyle smiles, “then you just have to learn how to be proud of this new part of yourself you're discovering too.” 

As Kyle sips his coffee Eli beings to understand why Storm set this meeting up. Kyle gets it in only a way he can. 

“May I ask you something?” When Eli agrees Kyle continues. “You've had relationships with women before right? You really loved this Kate woman yeah?” Eli nods. “But you also recently find yourself attracted to this Tommy guy too?” Another nod. “Then you might be bi, you might be pansexual, hell with all the aliens running around you might find your omisexual one of these days. Thing is only you can decide what you feel comfortable labeling yourself as. No one can tell you or decide for you. But I can help you, and give you some stuff to look at that'll make things easier for you to understand.”

“And...what about...coming out?” Eli says swallowing against the lump in his throat at the thought. 

“Only when you're ready, and only when you're sure. I know you're worried about your grandparents, I'm not going to lie to you and say those worries are unfounded. It's a real possibility they'll react badly. But you have to trust that they love you. And if you ever find yourself in a tight spot remember you have friends who are willing to help you.” 

A smile, small and a touch wary, crawls along Eli's face. Eli feels good. Not weightless. There are still things baring down on his mind. However things are beginning to come together for him in his head. That's progress isn't it? 

“Thanks Kyle, I really appreciate this.”

“No problem Eli. This is what us adults are for. To help you when we can. I'm as human as it gets, so I can't help with all that superhero stuff. But I can help you with this.” 

Eli can't really put into words how grateful he is but he hopes the smiles he gives showcases it well enough. 

“Besides if you ever need a place to stay I hear Falcon and Cap are looking to raise themselves a baby eagle so.”

“Wait what.”

 

In the weeks following Eli learns a lot from the multitude of websites and books Kyle gives him. Some of it is really informative which Eli is grateful for. Other stuff is...embarrassing to say the least. He didn't realize anal sex required to much...prep. Then there had also been books on vaginal penetration too which was really...enlightening. Eli feels kinda bad for the first girl he slept with. It was both their first times though so he think he can be forgiven for making so many mistakes. 

By the end of it all Eli is just really disappointed in his schools sex ed classes. They're so woefully lacking in so many areas it makes Eli's head spin a little. 

In the end Eli comes to the conclusion that he's bisexual. The more he thinks about it, the more comfortable he grows with that conclusion. He finds himself more openly appreciating men and not stopping himself when he catches himself doing it. 

It's new so it's all still a bit scary. However it grows less so each day. Eli counts that as progress.

Now that he's grown more comfortable with himself, Eli finds he has a new mission. Which is to ask Tommy out. He's not sure Tommy will go for it. He doesn't know if Tommy is anything but straight. But Kyle told him you can't just assume everyone is straight by default and that there's no way to tell unless you ask. So Eli's been building up the courage to ask. 

The opportunity comes when his grandmother tells him her and granddad are going out on a date and that's all Eli really needed to hear about that. They won't be back till late so dinner is up to the two of them. 

Eli figures it's the perfect chance. Some dinner, a movie, it's like a date in already. A stealth date. An incognito date. A secret mission date. It's perfect.

Only it's not perfect, because perfect doesn't exist. Didn't Eli learn that with Kate already? 

Tommy all but shoves him out of the kitchen with a simple “you'll get in my way dude no offense.” Before he realizes it Eli's sitting at a set table with a steaming bowl of pasta alferdo before him. 

“I still don't get how you get it to cook so fast.” Eli says picking at his pasta. He actually loves alfredo it's just that his stomach feels like it's jumping itself into knots. He's not totally sure that if he eats something it won't come right back up. 

“Power of speed my friend.” Tommy says swirling his wine glass full of red cherry cola around. 

“You dork that doesn't even make sense.”

“Hey a chef's gotta have his secrets right?” Tommy winks. Eli thinks winking shouldn't be that cute. 

So making dinner together and setting a domestic potentially romantic mood had been shot. Sitting across the table and watching Tommy talk animatedly about some weird mix of reality television, talk shows, and some documentary about cute animals, however, more than makes up for it. 

“I mean am I right? Oprah's next show should be about cute animals pitching for reality tv shows for the greater good of America right? Hey man are you listening to me?” 

“Huh, yea, of course man.” Eli says trying not to think how cute Tommy looks as his hands animatedly flail about as he talks. He's beginning to understand what the quiet, intimate way Carol talked about Jess' “special quirks” meant and just why they're special. 

They're little things that were specifically unique to the other person. Things that seemed weird or strange at first. Things other people couldn't get; not unless you looked long enough and realized how it was all a part of them. How all the little tiny pieces of a person, from the strong, to the brave, to the weird, to the weak, made them the person they were. A person worth caring for, worth loving, worth holding on to. If only you could appreciate it. 

“Eli? Dude I think I lost you again.”

“Tommy. I think I like you.” Eli says staring Tommy dead in the eye. “No. I know I like you.” Eli corrects so there's no confusion on either end. He braces himself. No matter what comes after this, his highest hopes are that Tommy will still be friends with him in the end. 

So when Tommy just yells out “finally!” it throws Eli for a small loop.

“This means we can make out now right?” Tommy asks shamelessly.

“Uh.”

“Sweet!” Next thing he knows, Eli's got hot, slightly chapped lips pressed tightly against his. Tommy has him by the neck of the t-shirt he's wearing. He's leaning down low to fit his mouth against Eli's—who's still sitting down—in a position that can't be to comfortable. 

Eli blinks, long and slow, before tilting his head up to better slit their mouths together. He stretches so Tommy's not leaning so far down. Eli reaches up his hand slowly to trace the line between the collar of Tommy's shirt and his neck. He's just barely brushing Tommy's hairline, but still feels the shiver that shudders through Tommy.

It's not the most comfortable position, but it's one of the best kisses Eli thinks he's ever had. Tommy smells a little of garlic and tastes a bit like the pasta they just ate. But his hair is soft beneath Eli's fingertips. His skin is smooth from where Eli's other hand is tracing where Tommy is clutching his collar. He brings that hand up to drape it over his shoulders. Tommy gets the hint and the other follows. Soon Eli is standing up; his hand having let go of Tommy's finds a spot on Tommy's lower back to pull him closer. 

It's strange, just a bit, to be kissing someone who's just as tall as him. Kate sometimes wore her costume when they were kissing, her boots giving her a height boost. So it's not to strange. In fact, standing in the dining room kissing Tommy over and over, trading tiny pecks and deep long breath stealing kisses, is so not strange it is strange. 

Eli's mind is running in circles again lost in the haze of lips, hands, and the fact he really just wants to put his tongue in Tommy's mouth. That seems to fast though. Even for Tommy. 

They pull away slowly just enough to catch their breath. The distance between them isn't enough to fit a pin between. Eli finds it really hard to focus with Tommy still so close to him. Eyes slightly dizzy, chest raising and falling against Eli's heavily, and his mouth. God it looks just a bit pink and swollen. As if it's begging to be kisses again and again. Eli's all to willing to grant that wish. 

“Are we moving to fast?” Eli breathes genuinely concerned. He messed up with Kate. Always saying the wrong things, butting heads every chance they got alone. When it was good, it was good, but when it wasn't, it just didn't work. Eli feels that it might be his fault for that. For pushing or moving to fast or not asking enough if this was okay. 

“You're kidding right? I've been wanting to jump you for a while now but Jess said you weren't ready and I'd scare you off.” 

Eli blinks. “Wait what? You've been wanting to jump me? And you've been talking to Jess aka Spider-woman about us?” 

“Well yea. Who else was I gonna talk to your grandmother? Hey yea I know I've been living in your house for a while now but your grandson is totally hot in a rugged sexy grumpy stick-in-the-mud kind of way can I please have sexytimes with him when you're out thanks.” Tommy huffs. “Really Eli you're suppose to be the leader remember?”

Eli feels both insulted and complimented at the same time. Which must be another one of Tommy's abilities. 

“So...Jess?” Eli doesn't know if he'll ever be able to look her in the eye again. She'll probably be able to tell that they're together as soon as she sees them next time at the Tower. She has that pheromone power thing, so Eli just knows she'll be able to tell. When she does notice she'll tease them (and by them Eli means himself) mercilessly. 

“I can never go back to the Tower ever again.” Eli whines slumping his head on Tommy's shoulder. Tommy cuddles him into the space between his neck and shoulder massaging the back of Eli's neck with his fingers. Eli cuddles closer. 

“Don't be dumb, Carol won't let Jess tease you to bad.” Tommy teases. Eli pokes him in his side which makes Tommy to release a high pitched squeal. “No fair! We agreed no attacking weak points.” A weak point Eli had accidentally found when him and Tommy had a sparring match—under the supervision of Carol of course she was very diligent—at the Tower. Tommy made him promise to never tell a soul or use it against him because it was “totally cheating Eli.” Eli thinks it's alright to break his promise just this once. 

“Can't believe you told Jess about us before we were even an us.” Eli groans.

“Well you had your people to talk to, and I had mine.” Eli concedes that's a pretty good point. Without the help of Luke, Logan, Storm, and Kyle, he isn't sure he'd had gotten to this point. By the light kisses Tommy peppers along his neck and jaw, Eli is really glad he got to this point. 

“Pretty sure that's cheating too.” Eli breathes. 

“Pretty sure you already broke the truce so you must suffer the consequences.” Tommy mumbles against his neck. 

Eli laughs and begins working on a mark of his own. 

 

Admitting to his grandmother he also liked guys was harder than fighting that drugged up white haired alien guy during the Civil War. Eli thought if he could take a blast to the chest for Captain America (still one of his greatest achievements in his book) he could muster up the courage to sit his grandmother down and tell her the truth. 

“It's scary,” Kyle had said, “but you'll feel so much better after you do it. I promise.” 

Eli sucked in a heavy breath to steady himself. He stood awkwardly half in and out of the kitchen doorway. Wondering idly if this was how Billy felt when he came out to his parents. His parents though were like, liberal weirdos who always talked in buzzwords that went right over Eli's head. 

“Eli, if you keep standing over there you're going to drill a hole right through my floor.” Eli jumps startled at being caught. He really should've known better than trying to be sneaky around his grandmother. “Stop pussyfooting around and come talk to me.” She says without putting down her morning paper. The headline reads NAKED JUSTICE in big bold black letters with a picture of Tony and the Hulk stark nude in front of the Baxtor building. 

Eli might need to ask about that next time he heads over there. 

“So?” His grandmother prompts as he sits down probably looking as uncomfortable as he feels. 

“Grandma,” he he says his voice bordering on shaky, “grandma I have something to tell you.” She puts down the paper peering at him with wide, frightened eyes.

“Are you wearing a suit again?” She sounds stricken by the thought, like it physically makes her ill. He quickly nods no. “Thank goodness.” She lets out a sigh of relief. “Then what's got you all jittery? You look like you're about to get kicked out the house.”

Eli wants to laugh, or maybe cry he's not really sure at this point. So he just goes for it. 

“Grandma, I like boys.” He looks up at her, right in the eye as he says it because he's not ashamed. He's not. Scared out of his mind? Yes. But he's not afraid. “And girls.” He finishes a bit lamely. 

“Oh.” Is all she says. They fall into a bout of silence that leaves Eli unsure if he should get up and leave or continue to wait this out. The latter seems like the right choice; the former is the more favorable one. 

“I'll just...” Eli begins to say when his grandmother interrupts. 

“You sit that behind of yours down right this instance.” She says with all the sternness of a true parent. Eli kinda loves her for that. “Just...just give me a minute please.” She rubs his forehead and suddenly Eli feels guilty beyond all measure. Maybe he shouldn't have told her. Maybe it was selfish of him. Maybe he should have kept it to himself it's not like she needed to know. But he wanted to tell her so badly. To be honest with her about this part of him. 

“Don't do that Eli, please don't look like that.” He peaks his eyes up. His grandmother looks tired, but she doesn't look angry or disappointed. “I'm not...I won't leave you do you understand? I love you Eli. I love you more than anything. You're my grandson I'm always going to love you.” She touches his cheek gently in the way she used to when he had fevers and was to sick to move or when he scratched his knee or broken his arm. The same gentle touch of someone who truly loves and cares for you. 

Eli leans into that touch. 

“I can't say this is what I wanted for you. Because our family has lost so much. So much. We've been through so many hard times.” She glances over at the room where his grandfather stays. “We're a strong family, always have been, always will be. We stick together and that's the end of it. No matter what do you understand me?” Eli nods trying not to cry. “I just want you to be happy, and healthy, and safe Eli. I want you to be safe.” Her voice breaks a bit at the end. Eli nods again as he's pulled into her arms being held close. He holds her so tightly he's afraid he might hurt her but she never lets go. Just offers pure unconditional love and comfort. The promise of family, and home, and care.

They pull back and she says, “I don't care who you love. It might not have been what I had in mind for you, but as long as you're happy then I'm happy. Just promise me you'll be safe Eli. Promise me that.” She asks voice trembling slightly. Eli gets the feeling that maybe she isn't talking about him being bi anymore but something else. Something she finds infinitely more scary. He ignores that train of thought though and just holds her hands in his. 

“I promise grandma, I promise.” 

Eli shouldn't make so many promises he learns later. 

 

After telling his grandmother about his sexuality, telling her about Tommy becomes much easier. She's happy for him, for them. She adores Tommy so much she wants to pass down some family recipes to him. Eli assures her it's a bit to soon for any of that, but the thought it pretty pleasing. She does have one rule though. 

“Aww man. How are we suppos' to get our mack on if we can't be alone together anymore?”

Eli rolls his eyes. “We can still—do stuff. We just can't be home alone at night anymore.”

“Who the heck is gonna chaperone us when they're both out then?” 

Eli groans. 

“Oh no, no, nope, not gonna happen, never ever, ever.”

His grandmother's one rule about them not being alone at night together was enforced with the cooperation of one Edwin Jarvis. Eli doesn't even know how they know each other. Let alone how they got in contact with one another to concoct this deal. 

So Eli finds himself on a Friday night, in the Towers living room, surrounded by nerd science babble, and Clint loudly munching on popcorn in his ear. His grandparents have another date night tonight and Eli is pretty sure they're doing to this to him on purpose. It's been like the sixth date night in a row. 

Bruce Banner goes off into another rant about the probability of breaking time or something or other with Reed Richards on the phone. From what Eli can gather somehow Hank Pym might be the cause of it. At this point Eli is sure he's gonna jump out the window any minute now. 

The only comfort comes from Tommy who's been sneaking touches all night. First was the leg press, as he brought their knees together in an almost innocent brush. Next was the light stroke of his fingertips against Eli's arm. Now Tommy's scooting over on the couch just close enough to press their legs together from knee to thigh. 

“Ah! Ah!” Clint coos taking far to much enjoyment from the situation. “Nanny's got her rules and rules say no touching boys!” 

Eli glares—part of him still can't believe he can glare at the Hawkeye but the novelty had begun to wear off a long time ago—wanting nothing more than to stuff that god damn popcorn so far down Clint's throat—

“Oh lay off Hawkeye, let the kids have their time together.” Jess says slinging herself into Clint's lap. “Besides this is the only time we get to spend together anyway. Focus less on the kiddies and more on your girlfriend.” 

If Eli didn't know any better he'd think Clint looks a bit guilty, but he's probably just feeling chastised by his girlfriend. 

“So we can cuddle now right?” Tommy asks peering up at Jess with what The Wasp—Eli still can't bring himself to call her Jan—calls sparkly eyes. Whatever that means. Jess nods with a smile that borderlines on a smirk. 

Half a second later Eli finds himself significantly cuddled by the other boy. Tommy's arms are wrapped around his neck and chest in a hold that should feel claustrophobic. Instead just makes Eli hot all over. With one leg thrown over his Tommy is near in Eli's lap at this point. Tommy goes in for the kill by snuggling his head deep into the V of Eli's blue shirt. Lips just barely brushing against his collarbone and wow that's totally not fair. 

Eli snakes his own hands around Tommy's waist. Combing his fingers through Tommy's hair softly. They sit like that for while. Lost in the simplicity of it all. It feels so normal and right that Eli forgets his in the Avengers Tower surrounded by heroes and beings who could display incredible powers at the drop of a hat. He forgets for a moment that he is one of those people, that Tommy is too. 

Right here, right now, at this moment, everything feels simple and easy. 

Eli leans his head down to rest against Tommy. His breath breezes through Tommy's shock of white hair. He finds that he wants to kiss Tommy so badly it near hurts. He glances over at Clint and Jess who are talking intimately lost in their own world. Bruce has disappeared somewhere probably to further discuss the possibility of breaking time or something. In their place Steve, Sam, Tony, and Carol have settled in all fervently watching the movie on. 

There's so many people around Eli almost loses the urge to do what he wants to do. Which is kiss Tommy senseless. Then he thinks, it's not the urge that goes away, but a sense of fear that overshadows it. Eli shouldn't be afraid though, not around these people. Kyle told him that it was hard for him too. Being around the other X-Men and feeling comfortable enough to kiss Jean-Paul out in the open. Kyle got used to it, because he grew to feel safe. Where else is Eli going to be safer than Avengers Tower?

So he taps Tommy under the chin just light enough to get his attention. Tommy blinks up at him, eyes wide and interested. With a look like that, so open with a hint of mischief, Eli can't do anything but kiss him. Right on the mouth in front of the Avengers. 

In the back of his mind he thinks he can see Kate cheering him on for his audacity. He doesn't feel very audacious though. He just feels really comfortable and safe. In this moment with his lips slanted over Tommy's chapped ones. Tommy's tongue teasingly poking at his lips. Eli isn't sure if he's ready to start frenching in front of a room full of the worlds greatest heroes. Then Tommy's tongue slips past the seam of his lips as Eli's pulled closer by the back of his neck. Eli figures, what the hell. Nothing to lose at that point. 

Their tongues move against each other slick and wet. Eli's always found french kissing a bit weird if he thinks to hard about it. What he really enjoys is making his partner squirm and gasp. Sometimes he could make Kate so breathless she had to break away. With Tommy he's like his own one man orchestration of erotic noises. Tommy pants out, gasps, groans, moans, and even tiny whimpers when they really get into it. He loves playing Tommy like a violin. Never roughly, just smoothly. Stroking carefully and slowly to draw things out. Running his hands up and down Tommy's sides, fingers pressing just the right spots with just the right about of pressure. 

Eli hits a spot right below Tommy's right nipple making Tommy shudder so hard it's almost like he's vibrating. Wow that's something they're coming back to later. In private. 

“Huh, I'm beginning to see why Nans didn't want these two alone together.” 

With that it's like Namor himself just dropped a bucket of ice cold water on them. They jump away from each other quickly though Tommy looks less embarrassed and more mad about it. Eli can't believe what was originally an innocent kiss turned into a full on make-out with almost nipple groping. In front of the Avengers. 

If Hela herself wanted to swoop up his soul right now he'd welcome it. 

“Oh my god.” Eli groans into his hands. God is that his voice? He doesn't even want to know what Tommy sounds like. 

“Yea, tell me about it.” Tommy sighs almost dreamily completely unashamed. Eli groans again but for different reasons. Tommy needs to not talk again until he either has his voice under control or they're one hundred completely alone. 

“Kid you are shameless.” Jess laughs almost sounding proud. 

Tommy just shrugs, “I've got a hot boyfriend with an overprotective set of grandparents to deal with. Hell if I'm gonna let a couple of superheroes get in my way.” 

Eli's almost afraid to see the looks on the other Avengers faces—dear lord he just make out in front of Captain America—but they all seem amused so he figures everything okay. Or they're just getting a mean kick out of his embarrassment. 

“Ah to be young again.” Carol says clutching her heart. Sam nudges her in the side.

“Yea cause you're so old.”

“We don't talk about age here.” Tony says staring down at Cap. 

Steve huffs, “I'm very comfortable with my age. I qualify for benefits I'll have you know.” 

They all share a laugh at that. It should be strange, Eli thinks, that the Avengers, the worlds mightiest superheroes, are so normal. It's not though. It feels like they do this every Friday night when they don't have some world ending villain or disaster to fight. 

“Man if I wanted to watch two dudes kissing I would have stayed with Kate.” Jess punches Clint in the shoulder hard. Eli would revel in it if he wasn't so busy getting over the fact that Clint's apparently hanging out with Kate. 

“What's Kate doing with you?” Tommy asks none to kindly. Eli knows they both have no reason to feel protective over her. Kate can handle herself better than anyone Eli knows. She could survive without them either of them for sure. If there was ever a real hero in their team, it was probably Kate. 

Clint for a second actually appears uncomfortable by the look Tommy's giving him. 

“It's nothing weird kid,” he says, “she's just been hanging with me. Doing stuff and all.” 

“What kind of stuff?” Eli can't help but ask. In the back of his mind he knows—god does he know—what kind of “stuff” they've been doing but he needs to hear it for himself. 

“Like hero stuff. Look guys I don't know what you want me to say here.” Clint just looks at Jess who, for once, seems to be at a loss for words. The other Avengers shift uncomfortable and the entire homey atmosphere of the night is gone just like that. 

“I see,” Eli says though it the words feel like ash and dirt in his mouth. Thoughts buzz around in his head like white noise. He realizes how not normal this all is. The thought is sobering. To think, after everything, after what they said to each other at the end, after Cassie, Kate still. “I think we better go.” 

No one makes to stop them. 

“I don't get why you're so upset.” Tommy says once they're outside. Eli's lungs open up and he can breath again. “What did you really expect Kate to just sit around and not get back in the game?” Tommy is so calm about this. So carefree and usually that's something Eli loves about him but at this moment he can't stand it. Worse still Eli can hear the longing in Tommy's voice when he talks about Kate. Not about Kate herself, it's not some jealousy thing, it's towards what Kate is doing. Eli can hear how much Tommy wants to be out there too. 

“We said we couldn't do this anymore Tommy. That we couldn't. That after Cassie—” 

“We didn't say anything,” Tommy cuts him off. 

Eli grits his teeth. He thinks about Cassie. The he thinks about Scott. He knows Scott joined some new team. Probably seeking out people who wouldn't remind me day in and day out that his daughter was dead. He thinks about Kate who has apparently joined up with Clint to form a Hawkeye duo. He thinks about Tommy and how he's clearly dying to be back out there. Eli isn't like them though. He can't just join some new team or grab himself a partner. He can't even stand the thought of getting back out there. 

Playing with the Avengers clouded his mind. Made him forget who they were. Who they truly were. It wasn't just villains or evil aliens, or monsters that sprung up from volcanoes that they fought anymore. It was the X-Men, and each other that had become their enemies. They fought whomever was cast as the villain at that moment while more and more people died for the supposed cause. Eli still couldn't figure out how that was worth it. 

“It's not that big of deal Eli.”

“It is though! How can you even say that?” Eli yells anger rushing throughout his body, throbbing openly like an ugly wound. “How can you say that!” He shouts again, part of him knowing that he shouldn't be taking his angry out on Tommy. It's not Tommy's fault that he wants to be a hero. It's a part of who he is, he can't help that. Even so Eli can't handle the ugly feeling in his gut at the thought. 

Eli's not thinking things through clearly right now. All he can think of is all the fights, all the death, all the failures and disappointments that follow them whenever they put on a costume. 

Eli walks away. He regrets it, much later, but at that moment it was the only thing he could think of doing. 

 

They don't talk about it. Eli knows they should, he can tell Tommy wants to, but they don't. In the days that follow Eli has horrible nightmares. Ones where Doom retains the Lifeforce and takes over the world. Killing his team, the Avengers, the X-Men, and every hero in between. He saves Kate, Tommy, and Eli's grandparents for last, torturing them in the most horrific ways possible. All the while smiling sickly sweet at Eli and saying, “thanks my boy, I'm so proud. You did so well.” 

Doom repeats this over and over again as Eli watches the people he loves the most get torn apart body and soul. 

When he doesn't dream of Doom, he dreams of Cassie. Of her hair that reminded him of sunshine with a smile to match. The look in her eye when she was set on accomplishing something. The talk they had when she was shirking herself into oblivion. He thinks of how she stood up to him, a fourteen year old girl with no knowledge of her powers and just her human skills and guts. Eli thinks of how much she loved her father. So much she died for him. 

Eli dreams that she didn't die and he knows those dreams aren't real. Eli dreams of when she did die and thinks he can hear her say “thanks my boy, I'm so proud. You did so well.” Looking up at him with big dead eyes black, soggy-thick with blood as Scott screams and screams—

Eli wakes up and like most nights this week, he feels Tommy's soothing presence surrounding him. He buries his face in Tommy's chest drinking him in like a man dying for water. Eli knows he's taking advantage of Tommy, senses it in his bones deep down that this isn't fair between them. But Eli is to selfish to break it off. He wants Tommy so badly sometimes it hurts if only because Tommy is warm in so many ways. 

So Eli holds on tight, as Tommy's shaky hands clutch at his back. Maybe together they can make it through this. 

Slowly the nightmares do stop. Two weeks or so pass and Eli feels better, not hundred percent again, but better. 

During that time him and Tommy have gone on more dates together than ever. Eli ignores the cracks beneath their feet. Instead he throws himself into doing as much with Tommy as he can. They go to the movies, take walks in the park, Eli introduces Tommy to the neighborhood kids he teaches basketball to. They quickly take to Tommy like most children do growing to love him so much Eli thinks they're going to start worshiping Tommy as their new found king of the court. Eli takes him to the coffee shop where he sometimes meets with Kyle and introduces him to Aara who blushes at the sight of both of them. 

The only place they don't go is back to Avengers Tower. Eli can't bring himself to fall back under that illusion. He can't bring himself to forgive them yet. On TV he still sees them. Fighting whatever villain of the week shows up. One time he catches a news boardcast of Carol—who's now Captain Marvel—and Jess fighting giant dinosaurs in the middle of New York. 

“We should go and help them!” Tommy cries excitedly and Eli knows it was a slip of tongue from the way Tommy deflates not a second later. 

A stone of guilt settles heavy and low in Eli's belly. He's surprised by the stray string of thought that agrees with Tommy, but everything else in him is screaming no. 

Tommy has given Eli so much that Eli wants to give him something back since he can't give Tommy the partner in heroism he so clearly wants. Times like that something dark twists inside Eli and thinks maybe Kate and Tommy are better together than he was or is for either of him. 

Eli also pictures what they'd look like together. On a bed—his bed—beckoning him with confident seduction and wicked promises. 

Eli swears he wasn't this much of a pervert before he met Jess or Clint or started regularly interacting with Tony Stark. 

Either way he wants to give Tommy something special, even if it's small. So he saves up some money and makes reservations at a local but still nice restaurant called Gillens. 

Eli puts on a nice suit—not the same suit he wore on his and Kate's first date god he wanted to burn that thing afterwords he's sure it gave him bad luck—and knocks on Tommy's door. 

Originally when he first came to stay for 'only a few days' Tommy just laid out on the couch. When it became pretty clear he wasn't leaving anytime soon his grandparents decided to convert their study/storage space into a guest bedroom. 

When Tommy opens his door his mouth drops open. Eli suddenly feels very self-conscience. 

“What it doesn't look that bad.” Eli all but pouts.

“Oh no, no it really doesn't.” Tommy looks him up and down with glazed eyes that are far to distracting for what Eli has in mind. 

“S-stop that,” he says as he shoves a box in Tommy's direction. “We're going out, get dressed.” 

“Huh?” Tommy takes the box half opening it right in the doorway. He stares at the newly pressed suit with clear confusion. “We going to a funeral I don't know about?” Tommy says only half joking. 

Choosing to ignore that comment Eli instead says with no small sense of pride, “I'm taking you out.”

“You always take me out. I think that's why they call it dating.” 

“To a nice restaurant.” Eli emphasizes. 

“You always take me to nice places.”

Now Tommy's just being glib. 

“Just get dressed we're leaving in five minutes.” 

Tommy snorts and before Eli can blink he's ready. Suit tucked and tied, hair slightly slicked back, and the tiniest bit of some Cologne on his neck and wrists. 

Eli grins, “good now we have five minutes to get to the restaurant.” 

“You're taking me to somewhere swanky.” Tommy teases nudging their shoulders together. 

“Oh shut up.”

At the restaurant Tommy sticks out like a sore thumb. Even in the suit and tie appearing every bit a high class individual Tommy's personality doesn't mesh with the posh atmosphere. Still their table is away from any crowds and Tommy looks good in the low lighting. 

Once they get their drinks settling in Tommy, as always, cuts to the chase.

“So is this your weird subtle way of asking me for sex?”

“What?” Eli gasps so loud some of the other patrons turn to glare at them. 

“Cause man, trust me, you don't need to wine and dine. Just ask and I'm yours.”

“Wait really?” Eli shakes himself berating himself for being distracted. “This isn't...some ploy to get you to have sex with me.” Eli says all but hiding behind his menu. 

“So you don't want to have sex with me?” Tommy asks sounding offended. 

“Of course I want to have sex with you!” Eli says slamming down his menu. He catches the smug look Tommy's now sporting and has the immature urge to flick a piece of bread at him. “I just. I wanted to do something nice for you. Give you something nice...or something.” Eli says lamely. 

Tommy's expression softens. He reaches out to caress Eli's hand. He dances their fingers together, the light catching the smile on his face attractively. 

“I don't need this, but it's nice. Thanks.” 

Eli smiles back a rush of warmth flowing through him. 

“But we're still having sex later tonight right?” 

Eli almost chokes on his water. 

After dinner they decide to take a walk in the park. It's cliché, and not at all out of the ordinary from what they usually do, but Tommy suggested it and tonight was about Tommy after all. 

It reminds Eli a bit of that first time Tommy dragged Eli out of the house to go for a walk in the park. Remembering the impromptu dance party line he had started, Eli is struck with an idea. 

As they reach the center of the park where a huge water fountain sits Eli spots them. A few street musicians playing quiet tunes for passerby’s. Eli watches as they take a requests here or there for couples and families. They sit right in front of the fountain which is even more perfect. Checking his watch Eli notes that the lights in the park are about to go off any minute now. String lights in the surrounding trees, a gazebo a few feet away, and the fountain itself will all illuminate in a brilliant display once the timers go off.

It's perfect, fate even. He parts from Tommy, who peers at him confused. Eli makes his way over to the band whispering a song to the sax player who confirms it with his group. Eli pays them thirty dollars and makes his way back over to Tommy. 

As the song starts up Eli holds out his—sweaty it must be he's pretty sure his deodorant is useless at this point—hand. Tommy stares baffled, leaving Eli to worry this has all been a terrible horrible no good idea and he's just completely ruined their entire night—

“Is this Lykke Li?” Tommy asks still not taking Eli's hand. Not that Eli's freaking out about it. 

“Uh, yes?” Eli answers uncertainty. 

“Is this Let Me Go? By Lykke Li.” Tommy asks with a bright smile that eases the tension curled up in Eli's shoulders. 

Eli nods and like so many times before he's being pulled along by Tommy before he has a chance to catch his breath. They plant themselves in front of the fountain where the band is playing a soft instrumental rendition of what Eli knows is one of Tommy's favorite songs. They fumble a bit—which is more Eli's fault of nerves plus no rhythm than Tommy's—before falling into a soft sway. Tommy has one arm around his neck and the other resting on his shoulder. Eli carefully places his hands on Tommy's waist. Tommy rolls his eyes and repositions them on his hips. 

The song plays quietly in the background as the lights slowly spring to life around them. Tommy smiles gently and kisses Eli quietly on the mouth. Eli presses back soft as a whisper. When they part Eli smiles pulling Tommy in close to rest his head on Eli's shoulder. 

Other couples start dancing as well though Eli pays them little mind. He'll probably wonder later if they had gotten weird or even disgusted looks. Right now though, with Tommy's breath tickling his neck, his eyes closed in contentment, Eli can't find it in him to care. 

It's cliché in every way possible. Something right out of a cheesy romcom or Nicholas Sparks novel. 

Eli wouldn't have it any other way. 

 

That night they had wanted to have sex. They were both ready and more than willing. Unfortunately his grandparents were both home and Eli didn't have enough money for a motel. Instead they traded a few heated kisses before parting for bed. 

That weekend Tommy had magically produced enough money to rent a motel room for the weekend much to Eli's excitement and embarrassment. They lied to his grandmother about staying over the Avengers Tower for a weekend long training session since they hadn't been going recently. By her quirked eyebrow Eli had known she could tell they were lying. Worse still that she probably had known what they were up to too. Eli thought it best if he just pretended he didn't notice. 

Their first time together was awkward, messy, funny, and just a bit painful. It was everything Eli thought first times should be. Though neither were virgins this was Eli's first time at all with a guy, and Tommy's first time going any further than a quick handjob. Or so he had told Eli. 

Eli hadn't asked about that though he wanted to. He learned from Kate that jealousy isn't flattering nor romantic no matter what movies might tell him. 

Afterwords they looked for any excuse to sneak away. Living together became even more painful than before. Tommy didn't help with his constant teasing either. He was bad enough before they started sleeping together, now he had become intolerable. Eli never felt more mortified then he had when he'd gotten a hard-on sitting right next to his grandmother all because Tommy kept giving him these come hither eyes he probably learned from watching old Marilyn Monroe movies. 

Days and weeks passed in quiet contentment. It was normal and perfect and everything Eli could think of wanting. 

Then they had watched as New York became a battle zone with the Avengers smack dab in the middle of it. 

“Captain Marvel and Captain America have set up post here in a world wide effort to stop whatever horrible catastrophe an unidentified madman has threatened the world with this time. We have word that other Avengers such as Spider-woman, the Hulk, the Black Widow, and Hawkeye, as well as S.W.O.R.D. Are all on the case in different locations. We have yet to receive word on what exactly is the threat but sources have told us the target may be Captain Marvel herself.” 

Eli felt his breath catch as he and Tommy watched rivitively. This was everything Eli believed the Avengers were suppose to be. As he watches the scene unfold on TV he can feel a renewed sense of hope in his bones. 

The Avengers are fighting various villains, monsters, and dinosaurs that had been B-line new-reports for the last few weeks. What had appeared as random occurrences Eli sees now where all apart of some master plan by whoever is behind this attack. 

He finds himself gripping Tommy's hand tightly in his own while wanting nothing more than to be out there. He remembers how Carol would give him combat pointers. How funny she could be in a corny sort of way. He remembers her telling him about her cat Chewie, fat and cranky, but loving him all the same. Eli remembers how she'd get that besotted soft look whenever she'd look at Jess. 

Eli can't say he knows Carol well, but he knows her well enough to want to be out there and help her. This, he believes more than anything, is what the Avengers are meant to do. Protect people, fight for them, fight with them, keep people safe. Not fighting each other or other heroes over stupid crap that makes no sense down the line. 

This, Eli believes, is exactly what he wants to be doing. 

“We should be out there.” He says firmly. Tommy jolts next to him shocked. Eli knows it's what Tommy's been wanting for a long, long time, but Eli wasn't ready. He's not hundred perfect sure he's ready now, but the adrenaline rushing through his blood clouds his judgment enough that he doesn't care. He turns, facing Tommy head on and says without reprieve, “we should be out there.” Tommy appears shocked for a moment, then rushes off. When he reappears he's in full costume and has Eli's things in his arms. 

“You sure?” He asks because he has to, for Eli's sake. Eli's grateful for that. He touches Tommy's cheek rubbing his thumb carefully right under Tommy's goggles. 

“Yea. I'm sure.” He lies. 

When they get on the scene it's chaos. Eli isn't even sure who or what he's fighting only that he's rusty as hell even with all the recent training sessions at the Tower. Him and Tommy though, they're teamwork is impeccable. Eli feels proud of them in that moment, in their combine strength together. When he spots the Captains he signals to Tommy and they both rush over. 

“What are you two doing here?” Carol near yells at them. She's clearly agitated and not at them. He isn't sure what's wrong but he can tell she isn't right. Her breathing is labored, her complexion a bit gray, and there's sweat dripping down her face in tiny waterfalls. Normally sweat and heavy breathing would be typical signs of a fight. Eli's seen Carol fight though, both in the field and during sessions. He's never really seen her break a sweat and he's never seen her breathing anything less than fully regulated and in control. 

Something must be really wrong.

“We're here to help.” Eli says standing his ground. He backs up though when both Captains stare him down. 

“We have a plan in place Eli,” Steve says in his Captain America voice. “We thank you for the help but unpredicted outliers might throw everything off balance.”

“We're not here to get in the way. We're here to help. Even the Avengers can't take care of everything. Let us deal with civilians while you guys focus on your plan with the bad guy.” Eli thinks Kate would be proud if she heard his little speech. Steve holds his gaze without flinching then turns to Carol.

“It's your mission, you're call.” There's a look between them that speaks of years of partnership and friendship. A bond where they can speak to each other with their eyes alone and where trust is no question. 

“Let'em help,” Carol says dusting off her uniform. “He's right the police can't handle all this crap alone and neither can we. The better we contain this thing the less innocent people in danger when shit hits the fan.” 

“Understood.” Is all Steve says. Eli can see that's all that needs to be said between them. Eli realizes the reason why Captain America is Captain America is moments like this. Why he's the leader of the Avengers and has been for longer than Eli can even remember. He takes orders just as often as he gives them. He holds his ego tightly in check, because on the battlefield there's no place for ego. Captain America right now isn't here to take charge, he's here to help protect a friend who knows best what to do in the situation at hand. He trusts her, his team, and the people supporting them with everything he is. Giving them his full trust and support in return. 

In his dreams Eli sees himself as a man that can match that level of integrity. In reality Eli isn't so sure. The weight of it all seems far to heavy. There's no time, however, to think about that now. Steve says something over the comm link to S.W.O.R.D.'s Commander Abigail Brand. Next thing Eli knows him and Tommy are helping groups of people out of buildings, off the street, or from being eaten by dinosaurs. 

“It's like Jurassic Park in this bitch!” Tommy cries gleefully. 

Eli shakes his head laughing, “you've been waiting all day to make that reference haven't you?”

“You know me so well.”

They're keeping things contained, moving civilians out and into safe zones. Each time they clear one, the police hand them another. It feels amazing to do this again, almost to good to be true. 

So of course it is. 

Eli spots a figure moving so fast he almost thinks it's a comet for a second before he realizes it's Carol. He'd' heard she had lost her ability to fly but apparently he was wrong. Suddenly he can feel the ground shaking when the sky lights up so bright Eli has to close his eyes and look away. There's no explosion, no fireworks display of mass destruction. Nothing falls from the sky. 

Everything is simply, quiet.

It's much later, after the clean up, the reports, and the hysteria calms down, that Eli finds out what happened. 

Carol wasn't dead, but she'd been seriously injured and worse still, she'd forgotten almost everything. She couldn't remember who the Avengers were, who her friends were, she couldn't remember her cat's name. 

When Eli hears the news he's relived because Carol could be dead. Losing your memory isn't so bad in the face of death. Then he spots Jess off in a far corner by herself. Even behind her mask he's never seen someone look so devastated. If heartbreak had a face, Eli thinks he just saw it. 

Him and Tommy leave soon after that feeling like outsiders looking in. Eli realizes it's like a funeral but isn't. There's mourning for someone they lost who's right there but not. Eli was more naive than he thought. Eli can't imagine the pain they must be feeling right now. The worries he has creeping begin to creep back in. The adrenaline he had original wearing off bringing everything back in full force. The question he has kept asking himself since they broke up the team pounds at his mind. 

Was it worth it?

When they both get home his grandmother is in hysterics. She yells at both of them. For a second he thinks she might smack them as well. She doesn't, but she does collapse on the couch in thick sobs. It's been a long day for all of them and all Eli wants to do is rest until next weekend. Then some. 

He takes his grandmother to bed and apologizes to his grandfather as well. He can see the worry and fear in both their eyes and knows he'll have to talk to them tomorrow. Once he says his good nights he heads to Tommy's room wanting to be nowhere else but with him. 

He knocks then feels silly for doing so. They've long passed needing to knock. 

Tommy opens his door eyes weary and tired. He's changed out of his uniform clad in a pair of green pajamas that Eli usually teases him for. Right now he just allows Tommy to lead him to bed. He curls up around Tommy falling asleep on his chest without saying a word. 

The next morning Eli wakes without any aches or major pains and thanks the super soldier serum with everything he has. He carefully detaches himself from Tommy who still sleeps contently. He curls up in the empty warm spot which makes Eli smile. 

He walks into the kitchen where he knows his grandmother will be. There's a newspaper in front of her and Eli can guess the headline. 

“Sit.” She says eyes staring blankly ahead. 

Eli does, remembering a time when they had sat at this table and Eli had come out to her. There had been a flicker of fear in her eyes then, but not like now. This is much worse. 

“Eli, baby I love you. We both love you so much you know that right?” She says voice shaking something awful. 

“Yea of course.” 

“And you know you're grandfather is so proud of you. So incredibly proud.” Eli nods thinking back to the time he witnessed his grandfather crying yet wearing the biggest smile he'd ever seen. Eli knows that moment will live with him forever. 

“But.” She heaves a huge breath holding a hand in front of her eyes. Eli can still see the tears that prickle her lashes decorating them like tiny dewdrops. “But after Cassie, we're just not sure anymore Eli. When you gave up the suit honestly I was revealed. You're grandfather, I think he knew he'd eventually go back to it. But I hoped you wouldn't. I really did.” She sounds so guilty at this admission Eli almost cries. “I know it's in your blood Eli. I know one day you're going to be a great hero at whatever you choose to do. But I—I,” she starts opening crying now. Eli makes a grab for her hand wanting to comfort her in any way he can. “I just want you to be safe. You're so young. These people, they die, or get hurt all the time. They don't care who you have at home or how old you are. Cassie was even younger than you are now.” She looks at him eyes swimming with fear and concern. “I just want you to make sure it's worth it. Can you do that for me? For us? Please.” 

Eli sits there for a moment holding his grandmothers hands like they're the only things keeping him tethered here. 

Eli thinks of everything that's happened over the last few months. He thinks of how Tommy showed up randomly like a stray puppy and made himself a home. He thinks of his time spent at the Avengers Tower. He thinks of all the people he's met there, of Clint, Jess, Carol, Jarvis, Steve, Tony, Hank, Jan and Bruce. He thinks of the people who helped him figure out more about who he was, of Luke, Logan, Storm, and Kyle. He thinks about how grateful he is for the time he spent there and how he knows now he can't go back. 

Not till he's ready.

“Grandma,” he says still clutching her hands close. “I'm not ready. For any of it. I thought I was so I pushed myself back out there. But I'm not. I'm so sorry.” 

His grandmother just wipes her eyes roughly though her tears don't stop. 

“You'll have to figure out what Tommy wants too Eli.” She says after she's collected herself. “It's not just about you or me anymore. He's a member of this family now.” 

Eli thinks about Tommy. 

He thinks of that first time in the park, the first time he noticed how Tommy's smile lit up his whole face carefree and bright. He thinks of all the times they watched bad reality TV together. He thinks of the talks they had about their former team, of Kate, of Billy and Wanda. Eli thinks of how Tommy lit up these new feelings within he's probably always had but just didn't realize. He thinks about how much Tommy's made him realize things. How Tommy's made him want to be better at so many things. He thinks of their training sessions together and how they're now able to work together in such sync it's scary. He thinks of their first kiss which tasted of pasta and cheese, and perfection. He thinks of their first date and all the ones that followed. He thinks of them kissing in front of a group of Avengers without fear or shame. Eli thinks of the way Tommy's forehead will scrunch up when he gets frustrated or annoyed. He thinks about how Tommy's laugh, his smile, how his lips will turn a cute pink after they've been kissing for hours. 

Eli thinks of them dancing in the park and their first time together and all the times after. 

Eli says, “I know grandma, I will.” Then he leaves. 

He walks, for a long, long, time. Around the city, around the basketball courts, the park, the Tower, and finally he ends up at the little coffee shop where he and Kyle had first met. 

Eli goes inside and sits at his usual table. He spots Aara serving a young girl and her parents on the other side of the shop. When she spots him she smiles and tosses him a small finger wave. He smiles wanly and waves back. 

Then he calls Tommy. 

He's there in a flash because of course, he's Tommy after all. He looks matted and messy. Eyes puffy from sleep and just a side frantic. Eli wonders if he also spoke to his grandmother or not, but doubts it. One of the reasons Eli believes Tommy likes it so much in Eil's home is that no one ever pressures him. Save for following basic house rules Tommy has always been pretty free. 

He's also always been pretty bored. Eli sees that now. 

Tommy sits down looking a mix of weary and excited. Eli hates himself a little bit more at the sight. 

“What's going on?” He asks flagging down Aara. “I woke up dude and you were just gone. I was hoping we could celebrate our heroism.” Tommy says wiggling his eyes exaggeratedly. “Then maybe we could start going back to the Tower ya know? Getting back into training and all that. You've had a enough time to pout right? Yesterday was awesome I can't wait too—”

“Tommy, what we did yesterday, we can't do it again.” Eli says cutting Tommy off. “I mean I can't do it again.” Eli corrects because he can't, but that shouldn't stop Tommy from doing so. Which is why they need to have this talk. Tommy is so much more than he thinks and he deserves to know that. 

“What are you talking about?” Tommy stares Eli down, but Eli's eyes are unwavering. “You mean...you mean going out again? Doing the hero thing?” Eli nods solemnly. “Why!? We were good at it! We helped people, lots of people! I don't understand what you're saying.” 

Eli sighs hands digging into his thighs. “I'm saying I can't do it Tommy. I can't go out there again. I'm not ready.”

“You seemed ready enough before! It was your idea to go out in the first place.” Tommy says angrily. 

“I know and it was a mistake. I thought I was ready but I'm not.”

“What do you mean? You're so ready man, we were amazing yesterday. It felt amazing yesterday.” He reaches across the table taking one of Eli's hands in his. “This is what we're meant to do.”

Eli brings his other hand to rest on top of Tommy's and wishes for a brief moment that this could work. 

“Maybe for you, and maybe for me to, but I can't right now. I'm sorry.” 

Tommy deflates. “So what? You're just never being a hero again?” 

Eli shakes his head, “I'm not saying never, just not right now. Not until I'm ready again. I have a lot to think about and I need to be sure that if I do ever permanently put on the suit again, it'll be worth it.”

“Helping people isn't worth it?” Tommy spits then immediately after looks guilty. He chews his bottom lips and says, “then I'll wait for you. We're partners now.” Eli is tempted by that. To tempted. He wants more than anything to go back to playing normal. To pretending that Tommy hadn't been pushing and hinting and dreaming of going back out again. Of being a hero again. Eli had let him which only got Tommy's hopes up like they are now. It's not fair. To either of them. 

“Tommy,” he says, “I don’t' want you to wait.” He lies. “I want you to go out and be the hero I know you want to be.” That, at least, is the truth. 

“What does that even mean?” Tommy shakes his head. “Now you're just really not making any sense. Are you...are you saying you want to...” He doesn't finish his sentence but he doesn't have to. Eli can tell by the look in his eye Tommy already knows. “No!” Tommy yells pulling his hand away from Eli. “You can't just decide shit like that.”

“You want a partner Tommy, someone who can be out there in the field with you, be a hero with you all the time. I'm not even sure I'll ever wear a mask again.”

“But you just said—”

“I said I have a lot to think about which includes whether I want to pursue being a hero seriously.” Eli interrupts then sighs, heavy and long. “I want to be with you Tommy, more than anything I really do. But we're not right for each other. Not right now.”

“You shouldn't just decide that, to make these decisions without my say.”

“You deserve more, you deserve better. Someone who has their life together and figured out and can be that partner you deserve.”

“Stop telling me what I deserve!” Tommy yells slamming his hands on the table. “You don't get to decide what I need or my feelings Eli. Stop making excuses for why you're breaking up with me.” 

Eli is in near tears now wanting nothing more than to take back everything he said, but he knows they can't. 

“You're just making shit excuses for yourself because you can't handle it. You can't hack it out there so you're quitting. You're just afraid!” 

“Tommy,” he says trying to keep his voice calm and level. “Tommy we want different things right now. Conflicting things and if we keep trying—trying to push ourselves into doing things we don't want or ignoring the things we do...” Eli pauses feeling a bit desperate at this point. Tommy's quiet but his eyes are unyielding. “I don't want you to hate me.” He admits clenching his jaw. 

“And this is suppose to make me like you?” Tommy spits. 

“I can't be the partner you want, and I can't watch you wait for me hoping I'll become them either. I'm sorry Tommy, I'm so sorry.” 

Tommy says nothing. 

“You can still stay at the house, you're always wel—”

There's rush of air and an empty seat staring back at Eli. Eli sits there for a long time, long enough that the sky grew dark around him. Aara never bothers him, never says a word, of comfort or curiosity. He knows she heard the fight. She had too. She's probably worried sick, but she keeps her distance. She does, however, bring him a plate of sugar cookies and some hot chocolate. 

“It'll make you feel better.” She promises. Eli doesn't eat the cookies. He sits, sips his hot chocolate and cries. 

 

Tommy doesn't come back and his grandmother won't tell him where he's gone. Just that he took what he needed with a little extra from her and left. He promised to stay in contact with her. That alone is a relief to Eli. Eli knows he'll miss Tommy like one misses a sense. However, the least he can give back to Tommy is to be left alone. Eli respects that. 

He mopes of course, for weeks in fact. He may have been the one to break things off but it still hurts like hell. Eli is sure in his heart that it was the right thing to do. He's to confused right now to fully dedicate himself to a relationship. Furthermore he wasn't lying when he said they wanted different things. Eli needs to find his own path. Tommy had already found his. It wasn't right to force Eli into Tommy's dream, and it wasn't right of Eli to ignore his. 

Eli remembers how Tommy lit up at the chance to train again at Avengers Tower. How he thrived in that environment, carving out a space for himself with ease. How he listened to every story he could get Carol, Jess, and Clint to tell. Tommy was born for it. He had no doubts in his mind about what he wanted. Eli respects and envies that about Tommy. 

He suspects, however, that Tommy was worried about being alone. Which was why he stayed with Eli for so long. He might have grown out of being bored, but Tommy wasn't happy either. Eli wanted him to be happy, and he'd be happier being a hero out in the field where he belonged. 

Maybe Tommy was right and these were all excuses Eli told himself at night to make himself feel better. But Eli knew, without a doubt, that there had been glaring problems in their relationship that if they wanted to remain friends still, couldn't be ignored any longer. He might be wrong, but Eli was already facing the consequences of his decision. 

Every day Eli wakes up and expects to see Tommy. In his dreams Eli wakes up to Tommy happily living a normal life with Eli. Where there's no pressure to become a superhero again. Where their friends don't die for the greater—or not so great—good. Where they're safe and happy. It was just a dream though, Tommy would never be happy with that. Eli was telling him the truth when he said he didn't want Tommy to wait for him. 

Eli didn't know if he would ever put on a mask again. There were to many things holding him back right now. He promised his grandmother that if he did, it was because he knew it would be worth it. Luke had told him some days it was, which was why Eli doesn't close the door on the possibility. Storm had told him that his day would come, which gives Eli hope. Kyle had told him only when he was ready. Eli's going to continue to work towards that day. 

One thing was certain Eli knew he wanted to help people. His grandmother had said so, whatever Eli chose to do, he'd be a hero. He just had to figure out what path he'll take. 

Eli knows if he's going to make this, his relationship with Tommy from start to finish, worth anything, he needs to start figuring out his life now. 

He calls Luke. 

“Lo?” 

“Hey Luke, it's Eli, I need you're help.” 

 

When Jennifer Walters sits across from him at his usual table his first thought is that she's shorter than he expected. 

Jennifer glances over her coffee cup. “Yea, that's what everyone thinks when they see me like this.” She sighs. “So tell me Eli, what can I do for you?”

“I think I want to pursue law. Can you help me?” 

She swirls her coffee stirrer in her cup disinterestedly. “And what brought this on?”

“Did Luke tell you about my grandfather?” 

Jennifer nods her face twisted in distaste. 

“Then you also probably know that's not an isolated incident. Nor that things like that don't still happen. My friends,” Eli grinds his teeth. “My friends had something similar happen to them. And there's so many people that suffer at the hands of others more powerful. I don't just mean Hydra or AIM Ms. Walters.” He looks her straight in the eye. “I can't punch my way through an institution that doesn't see people as humans. I want to make a difference. This is a way I can.” 

Jennifer sips her coffee eying him over her mug. 

“You could always put on a mask again,” she suggests kindly. 

“I could, but I'm not fully sure if that's the right path to take. At least right now.”

Jennifer grins at him resting her hands under her chin. “It's not all or nothing kid. If Luke patched you through to me, it's because I know that probably better than most.” She pats his arm. “Don't worry I'll help you, just loosen up a bit yea?” 

Eli feels a weight lift off his chest. He smiles. 

 

Eli isn't sure how long it's been since he last talked to Tommy. He tries not to think to hard about it. Though it's been long enough that the hurt has turned into a dull ache that's slowly becoming a bittersweet pinprick. He thinks his near daily visits to Aara have helped a lot. She's able to sooth him in a way very few people can. Eli finds her calming optimism like a balm on his mind. Their only friends though, Eli's still not interested in pursuing anything serious with anyone yet. Even so he appreciates her friendship greatly. 

Eli is surprised though, that after all this time it's Tommy who calls first. 

“Hello?” Eli says typing on his laptop at the shop. Jennifer has been sending him information on the best law programs in the country. She thinks he's a shoe-in for a scholarship too if he can nail the essay part down. 

“Hey.” Eli almost drops the coco he'd been drinking at the sound of Tommy's voice. 

“I—Tommy hey, I didn't.” He stops himself unsure of what to say. “I didn't expect you to call.” 

Tommy huffs out a laugh that's neither happy nor bitter and Eli counts that as a win. “I didn’t' either to be honest. I want you to know I was super pissed with you man. Like super, crazy pissed with you.”

Eli gulps a little, “and now?” 

There's a pause where Eli holds his breath. 

“Now I'm just a little miffed.” Eli's shoulders sag in relief. He hadn't realizes how stressed the thought of Tommy hating him or being angry with him forever had him. “Eli, you were right. Sorta. I wasn't happy. I mean I was happy with you because you're you. You were easy to be with. And I could always hope that we could, ya know, go out and be heroes again. Together.” There's some shuffling over the phone before Tommy speaks again. “You were right though, I didn't want to wait. I probably would have started pushing even more after getting a taste of what it was like being back out there. We probably would have ended up hating each other or something.” Eli silently agrees even though it's still not easy to hear. “I still love you though ya know.” 

“Tommy,” Eli breaths. They never actually said to each other, but Eli knows it's true for both of them. 

“Not like romantically, not anymore. You broke my heart dude.” Eli laughs and is comforted when Tommy does the same. The sound is neither bitter or forced. 

“I'm sure you're out there breaking a few hearts yourself.” 

“Meh here and there you know how it is.” Eli doesn't but he finds himself glad that Tommy does. They talk for the next few hours. Tommy tells him about how he tried the solo hero thing for a while but it wasn't for him. Tommy says he's a partner person for sure. 

“Like that Cloak and Dagger duo or something.” He says making Eli laugh. 

Eli tells him about how he's going to pursue a career in law under the tutelage of Jennifer Walters. He gets to help people his way. Maybe he'll even work for the government or S.H.I.E.L.D., he isn't sure yet. For now this is his path on becoming a hero. He tells Tommy how one day he might take up a mask again, but not now, maybe not ever. His head is clearer than before, but that's still something he's not sure about. Tommy listens to him without judgment. No longer pushing him for something he isn't ready for. 

Tommy tells him how he got a job at some super-powered office. It's nothing glamorous nor what Tommy really wants to do of course. It's just a source of income—Eli almost wants to offer that Tommy come live with him again but he knows better—for the place he's staying. He tells Eli about how he's on a mission to find the perfect superhero partner in crime. 

“They'll be the Hawkeye to my Hawkeye, the Captain Marvel to my Spider-woman, the Captain America to my Iron Man, or the Captain America to my Falcon, or the Captain America to my Agent 13. Wow Captain America sure gets around a lot huh?” 

That has Eli laughing so hard he's afraid he's getting strange looks from the other shop customers. He sees Aara out of the corner of his eye. She's shaking her head at him in amused aspiration. 

“I'm sure you'll find your hero partner in crime. You planning to copyright that name by any chance?”

“Oh you know it.” 

They talk a little bit more after that before hanging up with the promise to call again, maybe sometime this weekend. Aara smiles at him like she already knows what has him so happy. She probably does to, she has a knack for reading him. She brings a fresh plate of sugar cookies to go with his coco. He thanks her and their hands touch for a second when he takes the plate. They don't say anything and the moment passes as quickly as it came. 

Eli bites into a cookie as he goes over a new email Jennifer sent him. When he sips his coco a warm rush of calm blooms inside his chest. 

Kyle was right, Eli does feel better.

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so I wrote this for my good friend Kim and it's a two-part series. This is the first part from Eli's POV. Next part is from Tommy's POV. This fic also killed me but Kim writes me Dommy so it's only fair I give her a behemoth of a fic in return. 
> 
> Some comic notes for anyone who was wondering:
> 
> Since I played fast and loose with the timeline I skipped over Fear Itself. Didn't fit with where I wanted to take the fic and I couldn't remember where in the freaking Marvel Event timeline it took place.  
> Clint and Jess did date for a while until they broke up cause Clint is kind of a jerk. Really ask Natasha, Bobbi, or Jess. He doesn't hang out with Kate Bishop, Kate Bishop hangs out with him!  
> I couldn't help but include the running joke Kelly Sue has going in Captain Marvel and Avengers Assemble about Jessica's love of sandwiches I just couldn't  
> Kyle doesn't get enough love so I wanted to include him. Plus I thought it was important that a queer kid of color talk to another queer person of color about what they were going through. Kyle felt like the right choice.  
> Thor and Storm were together in an alternate universe (married actually) and were also dating in Marvel Avengers Adventures and were so freaking adorable I just had to include a little flirty there  
> The entire Carol thing was referencing The Enemy Within which Tommy and Eli weren't a part of but hey it's fic for a reason  
> Carol really did fight Dinosaurs and how awesome is that?  
> The kids Eli mentions that were experimented on Osborn are the kids from Avengers Academy which everyone should go read.  
> I couldn't remember specifically if Eli lived with his parents or grandparents so I just made him live with his grandparents cause I like them better  
> At the end of Age of Ultron Hank Pym apparently breaks time or some shit cause he's Hank Pym I'm not entirely sure that book sucked but there's implied time breakage (also Ultron calling him daddy but we don't talk about that)  
> Yes the names Lee and Kirby as well as Gillens were deliberate  
> The Kamala Aara (who is an OC) mentions is Kamala Khan who is going to be the new Ms Marvel  
> Also yes Tony and The Hulk walked naked in broad daylight literally stark naked it was glorious 
> 
> And I think that's it!


End file.
